I sometimes think that I’ve given you entirely the wrong impression.
That I’m strong, brave, and always optimistic.
Truth is, I’m a recovering coward.
There have been times in recent years when I’ve felt completely weak, unwise and pessimistic.
Times when fear turned my insides to mush and great challenges brought me to my knees.
But as one friend says: “While you’re down there, you may as well pray”.
Sometimes, I had to pray several times before my insides finally returned to normal and I remembered: “All I need to do is put one foot in front of the other. And trust.”
Sometimes, putting one foot in front of the other meant writing a funny or optimistic post on my blog. Trusting that you’d read it, smile and be uplifted.
And sometimes it meant just going back to my bed. (And while there, perhaps reading a few of your own updates to cheer myself up.)
All of which may prove that the great philosopher Soren Kierkegaard was right when he said: “The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.”
Thanks for being there. These flowers are for you.
I end this post with a blessing from a Margaret Mair poem:
May the day hold you gently
In the softness of its hope
And the sun guide you surely
To where you find yourself
Contented and free
In the kindness of its light.
~~
Photos courtesy of Hamlin Grange.
Cynthia Reyes 
Absolutely beautiful, Cynthia. You voiced so eloquently my own feelings oftentimes. Thank you for sharing. Hugs! 🙂
We humans often walk the same path. Thanks, Linda.
Thank you, Cynthia. Just the encouragement I needed today. I think we are all recovering cowards in some sense. Praying your day is hope filled. – Karen
Thanks, Karen. I suspect that as long as we know we are ‘recovering cowards’, it gives us a reason to be brave.
This blessing is similar to the traditional Gaelic blessing.
‘ May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
The rains fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you gently in the palm of his hand.’
Although I am not in any way religious, I really love John Rutter’ s version of a Gaelic blessing with the Cambridge singers. You can find it on YouTube.
Best wishes and blessings to you Cynthia.
Well, don’t ask me why, Chloris, but this blessing, from you and Lavinia too, brought tears to my eyes. I will go wash my face with very cold water, then kick myself in the posterior (if only that were possible) and smile in gratitude.
Beautiful post, Cynthia! Beautiful flowers by Hamlin, and a lovely poem by Margaret Mair!
My aunt has a saying that goes, “Sometimes you give 90%, sometimes you take it.” Although she was describing marriage, it really applies to life in general. There are time when we all have to lean on, and depend on, the support of others, and there are times when others will draw from our own strength. There is nothing cowardly in that. That is life.
I leave you with an old Irish blessing:
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Thank you, dear Lavinia. Pls. see reply to Chloris.
Thank you Cynthia for your vulnerability, courage and wisdom. May we rise and shine together in love, helping each other along the way.
hugs and blessings…
Thank you, my blogger-friend.
Plus ca change for all of us. Your lovely post reminds of that saying about seeing someone cry – they’re not weak, they’ve just been strong for too long. x
Oh, how I can relate to that. Perhaps we only know when we are strong, because of the times when we have been weak. Thank you, Sarah.
Bless you Cynthia, you eloquently say what so many of us feel. Thanks for sharing. Now I don’t feel so bad about those days when I get up for a couple of hours then crawl back into bed for a few more. Other days I’m on a roll from sunset till after sundown. It’s all good.
And I enjoy reading your posts. They’re real, and brave.
Thank you for this beautiful post, Cynthia.
You’re welcome, Jill. And thank you for your comment. I hope your day goes well.
I’ve been there too Cynthia. A truly inspiring and wise post. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your kind remark. Wishing you a good day.
Oh the talent Hamlin has for photos! I love them! Very nice post. Reminds me of “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. Regardless of where you make it, if even in bed!
Hamlin read your comment last night, and the others that mentioned his photos, and he had this big grin on his face. Thank you much, Tina.
I see warmer days heading our way….I hope you can get out to enjoy some of them!!
May God hold you in the palm of his hand, Cynthia. I’m an atheist, and Irish, and that phrase always touches me. “God” to me means all that is good. Thank you Chloris for reminding us of that blessing.
Ah, Diane. Thank you. I often think that you are right: God means all that is good – in us, and in the world.
That was some good encouragement and an interesting and probably true take on prayer. Tell Hamlin I love the Clematis pictures! Amy
He read your comment for himself, Amy, and was so pleased!
I liked Soren Kierkegaard most of all the philosophers I read in university. More even than Hegel, Camus, the whole lot of them. Perhaps I was just intrigued that one could be both an existentialist and a Christian….
After taking Philosophy 101 in college – I found that I am really not a deep thinker. I could understand design philosophy, but chemistry was way too conceptual and so was philosophy.
That may be why I liked Kierkegaard – he was easy to understand. Now, chemistry? Hats off to everyone who understands it (not you and me). And talk about deep thinking: you can understand design philosophy, something that completely escapes me, even to this day.
This is why I am OK with the flower arranging, years of design theory. One of my professors is feeling profoundly depressed somewhere..
You are strong and brave. As far as I can tell, you didn’t give up, but started over. Most of us would not have done that.
Thank you, my dear. I did give up in earlier years, but I didn’t like where it took me. So I decided that I may as well live…. OK, I’m smiling as I write that last part there.
Wishing you a good day, and both those blessings – the Irish one and the Margaret Mair’s.
This post is so perfect. It speaks to my current situation. I was so blessed as I meditated on the word this morning and prayed with a friend. Then I read this comforting confirmation.
“3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
Thank you!
I meant to type “your” comforting confirmation. I added the scripture at the end, because it seemed to fit.
Blessings,
Theresa
Thank you, dear Theresa, for these warm blessings.
Grace and peace,
Cynthia.
Cynthia, this post is a perfect example of why I love your writing. You do, indeed, lift my mood, my spirit, and my hope with your words (and with Hamlin’s lovely photography). Your bravery in being honest about your own heart encourages us to be bold too. ❤
Blessings & hugs ~ Wendy
Thank you very much, Wendy. I’m glad to know I lift your spirit. You do so much of that for others.
I think we’ve all been there at one time or another, when staying in bed seems like the easiest way.
I find that being out in nature is better for not just my health but my outlook as well, certainly better than any pill or doctor that I’ve ever had. I hope you’ll have great weather this summer so you can spend some time outside.
I agree about being out in nature, Allen. And yes, I’m looking forward to the milder temperatures. I’ll take anything that’s not freezing or too wet!
Thanks for your reply and ‘happy walks!”
Its brave to admit how you feel Cynthia, lots of us do not. But please know lots of us are wishing you well and thinking of you. xx
Thank you, dear Julie. I do understand people who don’t admit how they feel. One thing the catastrophe of recent years has done for me: I have shed most of my false pride and pretense. (Not all of it, mind you.)
However, I do hope I have retained some hint of dignity! (smile)
Be well, Julie.
We have all been cowards at some time. You are brave to share your emotions with us with encouragement and hope. Your posts are always laced with joy and beauty and hope! Thanks for the flowers and poem! There is no shame in feeling down as long as you get back up!
Thank you for saying this. I, and others reading this, appreciate it. There are some brave people in our blogging community, who need to be reminded that there is no shame in falling; just keep getting back up, as you say here.
You are brave because no matter how bad it has got you have continued to try to live your life as well as you can. You pick yourself up and have another go.
You are brave because no matter how awful you must be feeling you respond to our comments and to our posts with humour and great intelligence.
May God bless you and keep you and all who are dear to you.
Hamlin’s photos are a joy as always.
Ah, Clare. You are a remarkable woman. Your life is a wonderful example of picking oneself up and having another go. Thanks for these kind comments, and for the nod to Hamlin’s photos.
You are very kind.
What a beautiful post, Cynthia. Thank you xxxx
Thank you, Dianne. My best to you.
Your flowers made me smile. Now that’s a gift: making people smile. Thanks
What? Hamlin’s photos made you smile, but what about all those nonsense poems I wrote in earlier months, specifically to make you smile? Did you mention those? No-o-o-o.
OK, I just wanted to make you smile again. And Hamlin and I thank you for your compliment on his photos.
Beautiful post Cynthia, the others before me have said it all so eloquently. Nothing more to add. Hugs
Thank you, Gail.
Beautiful flowers. And you are not alone. Most if not all of us have felt that way too at times. Thank you for sharing your thoughts for the blessing. 🙂 ❤
Thanks for your response, Natalie. And I’m glad you like the blessing.
You’re so welcome! 👍😊❤️
Love the flowers. Beautiful shades and texture. Thanks Hamlin 🙂
Hamlin says “thanks”. Me too.
Merci Cynthia pour ton partage vrai et humble : ça fait du bien. Hier soir encore, nous partagions avec des amis sur le sujet de la peur, de la confiance… J’aime beaucoup la citation que tu as partagée : La fonction de la prière est de ne pas influencer Dieu, mais plutôt de changer la nature de celui qui prie.” Je vais bien la garder et la méditer 🙂 Belle journée
Merci beaucoup, Christiane.
Je suis très heureuse d’apprendre que tu aime la citation de kierkegaard aussi. Je pense aussi: sans la peur, nous n’aurions pas besoin d’avoir le courage , non?
Belle journée aussi,
Cynthia.
Tout à fait, la peur et le doute nous grandissent 😉
Inspiring post and beautiful flowers!
Thank you! And for visiting my blog.
Welcome!
Thank you I feel blessed 🙂
I’m glad to hear that.
Hi Cynthia,
This was a great post. Thank you. I’ve read it on my phone but can’t like it from here – ah technology!!
I’m hoping for spring, and maybe it’s already in your area, but it’s still mighty cold here for me. Lol!
All the best, Jacquie
Sharing the secret art of inviting healing at http://www.jacquelineramsey.com (613) 315-4212 Connect on FB | Twitter | Pinterest
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Thank you, Jacquie. So nice to hear from you, and here’s wishing you a nice spring when it comes.
I love the Margaret Mair poem, and all of those beautiful pictures that Hamlin took! Whether you are a recovering coward or a current-day hero, whatever the label, I believe you are inspiring and that everyone has the potential to be such, as long as there is effort made. You *always* seem to make the effort, and I think that is what I appreciate most about your blog.
Well said, Rose. You inspire others, even in the midst of your own struggles. Thank you for your comment, and I’m wishing you a good day.
Beautiful flowers this spring in your garden… I’m so glad I looked in my wordpress reader and found you this morning. It is going to be fun to follow your spring to summer! Let’s Connect!
Thank you for visiting my blog, Brenda. It’s nice to hear from you.
I loved your post. The blessing at the end was wonderful. Sleep well and I hope to talk to you soon. Hugs and blessings, Barbara
Ah, Barbara. Thank you for your generous reply. Hugs and blessings to you too.
Wise advise – as long as you are down there you might as well pray. Enjoyed my brief visit. I will look forward to reading more.
I loved this, Cynthia. Didn’t realize how much until I started reading it. My nose is crinkling up. Blessings.
Blessings to you too, Kim. You’re one of the bloggers who have been through so much, yet continue pushing through the challenges to achieve so much more. Thanks for reading my post.
I truly appreciate your tender heart together with so much more. Your loyalty, your time and your comments. ++++ My family here is second to none. Bless you, Cynthia.
Gorgeous flower photos and a conversation about ‘recovering cowards’ sure can light up the blogging world. I think you hit home with a lot of folks because we all visit there periodically. 🙂
That’s a lovely post. It rang a chord and it got me thinking. When life is tough for someone, I think that sometimes that person will feel and see the rest of the world more intensely than usual. It depends on the coping mechanism you use but sometimes the things that keep you putting one foot in front of another are the small things. Isn’t it Armstead Maupin’s characters who have the rule of three, ‘You can’t have a hot lover, a hot apartment and a hot job all at the same time, nature will not support it.’
That sounds trite, but I do find that one of those things is usually tough and when they are, it’s the tiny successes, a germinating plant, a tasty dish cooked, a tidy room (that is miraculous in any house with me in it) that keep me going. Sometimes these things are so vivid it almost hurts presumably because I’m over-revelling in them to forget about something else. I dunno if that makes sense, I’m not at my most articulate. 😉
Cheers
MTM
It does make sense, MT. Thanks for your lovely, thoughtful comment. My best to your family.
Best to your folks too. 😉
Very well said, Cynthia, and so me, too. Thank you for such an encouraging, uplifting post. 🙂 ❤
Thanks for the flowers, Cynthia, and the poem, and you’re most certainly welcome. We all have moments of bravery and wanting to crawl back in bed, (or do it.) It’s what makes us all human, walking the road together.
You’re fantastic! 🙂
You are very kind and I thank you!
🙂