My best advice for Staying Alive if you’re Undomestic:
Marry a man or woman who can cook.
Not that you have to marry him/her. Just beg the person to live with you – especially at mealtime and most especially when guests come to visit.
If you’re resolutely single, make sure that all your close friends are chefs living nearby.
Advice on Arranging Flowers:
Grow hostas. Not for the flowers, but the leaves. Grow hostas in pots or in a garden bed, but do grow them.
Their large green leaves make an easy centrepiece on your dinner or lunch table.
Should you feel aspirational, you may want to arrange them: place flowers in the centre of the vase.
Advice on Inviting Guests to your Home:
Never invite tall people to your house. They are bound to see the dust of ages in spaces where you can’t reach/have never thought of cleaning. If you’re tall, then the same advice goes for very short guests. They’ll see the dust-balls in the corners of every room.
Advice for Guests:
Ask questions. If an Undomestic Diva invites you to dinner or lunch, there’s only one question that needs to be asked: “Who’s cooking?”
If, for example, I tell you I’m doing the cooking, you must instantly remember a previous and very urgent commitment for that date. If, however, I indicate that my husband is doing the cooking, you’re safe. Just show up on time, with a bottle of wine.
If, per chance, you are determined to visit me, then do what my close friends and relatives have done over the years: phone back and say, “We know how busy you can get, so we’re going to bring part of the meal.” That way, you’re guaranteed to have something edible or at the least, unburned.
Listen, friends — it’s not that I can’t cook at all. It’s that everything I’ve ever cooked for guests turns out badly. As for flower arrangements: the photo above was my best ever. I decided to quit while I was ahead!
Cynthia Reyes 
Exceedingly useful advice, especially regarding tall guests and guests who will bring part of the meal!
Well, thank you, ma’am.
Kudos on your flower arrangement and humorous domestic views. May your home always be full with domestic gods to bring you pleasure. 🙂
From your lips to the domestic gods’ ears!
LOL. Just don’t kiss and tell. 🙂
Excellent advice Cynthia. Make me chuckle too:-)
Glad I made you chuckle. Not so sure about the advice…. (smile)
Oh, Cynthia, you gave me a good couple laughs here. Especially the question, “Who’s cooking?” as I have asked that myself and rather than turn down the engagement, have eaten beforehand… And of course, I’ve taken food in self-defense as well!
Glad to hear that!
We all have our talents:). I’m a pretty darn good cook now but I have a checkered past. Something about raw spaghetti meat being dumped into sauce to cook . .. .
You made me grin! Thanks for that, K.
That center piece is beautiful, Cynthia. I never would have thought of using hosta leaves for that purpose, and the color combination with the clematis is striking. Thank you for sharing that idea!
My mother always used hosta in vases but she was very talented. I was shocked at my own results. Hope you and Rick are well.
All is good here. We are riding out a heat wave right now, with 107 degrees in the forecast for tomorrow. Spot watering in the garden takes up a lot of time these days. On the plus side, the wild blackberries are ripening faster in this heat, and we had some for dessert at lunch.
Great tips! I am reading “My Own Words” by Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Supreme Court Justice. Her husband, Martin, always cooked. You and Ginsberg have other talents! You have a sense of humor too. A bottle of wine always helps any meal. Hope you are continuing to heal.
Such a nice reply. Thanks much.
Since I’m not the chef in our household, I can totally relate, Cynthia.
I hear you, sister.
When I was young there were times when if I didn’t cook I didn’t eat, so I’m safe as a solitary.
A self-sufficient human! I’ll eat what I cook — sometimes — but others surely won’t.
ROFL
I forgot to include: “or invite yourself over to your friends’ house for great Jamaican food!”
I wonder what happens if neither partner can cook …… 🙂
Oh, dear. Never thought of that. Lots of take-out food?
I like the hosta leaf arrangement!
Thank you Helen. What a surprise it turned out to be.
😊
Ah, this sounds like me and my other half so it makes me smile. Only, he’d probably do better with the table decorations too ….
I’m okay at designing a garden bed. But flowers? Boggles my mind.
I like the centerpiece with the hosta leaves–clever and very effective. I’m with you in terms of marrying a man who can cook. I did, and I thank my stars every day!
Smart girl! That centrepiece really surprised me.
Funny AND great advice!
Thank you.
Ha Ha Ha…..that gave me a good morning laugh. I especially like the part about offering to bring something. I’ve used that line before on a few friends just to be assured we’d have something to eat.
Good guest!
Good housekeeping on the fly. I like it.
That’s one way of seeing it, right?
Excellent advice! Loved the one about dusting and tall people – being only 5’1″, there can easily be places that elude me/I never even see. Important to not cultivate tall friends. 🙂
You made me laugh, especially since I’m sure we both have tall friends!
This really made me laugh, Cynthia! I panic dreadfully when I have guests and usually manage to make a mess of some kind! What good and sensible advice you have given xx At Christmas I managed to trip up while carrying a dish of mashed swede and threw the lot at the dining table. Fortunately, the dish landed on the floor right side up but not before depositing large amounts all over the carpet and on everyone’s shoes!
OK, Clare. I know I shouldn’t laugh, but you made me! I’m sorry about the mashed swede on the carpet, but it is a funny story!!
I was still finding bits of dried swede in all sorts of odd places for some time afterwards. It got everywhere!
Cynthia, I hope you’re healing up quickly now. Thank you for this post – all such good reminders for when we aren’t sure what to say or do. Take care – glad you’re back to blogging again! 🌸
Thanks for your kind comment, Betty. Wishing you a great weekend.
Cynthia, I wouldn’t mind if you greeted me with a loaf of bread and a lump of cheese, and said come on in and make your own sandwich. I would be blessed just to be in your home. 🙂
I shall remember that when you come to visit me in Canada. (smile) I’m still hoping….
Me too. Never give up on a dream, eh?
I married a guy that is a great cook! Lucky me 🙂Think I might plant some hostas ..
Great answer, kiddo! Good to hear from you.
Great tips and fair warnings, lol. 🙂
I’m definitely going to use that last plate as an idea for my next lunch.
Great advice!
Thanks, Jerry. When I grow up, I’d love to take gorgeous photos like yours, but in the meantime, my art is laughing at myself….