A Good Home, Architecture, Canadiana, Christmas, Furniture, Gratitude, Homes, Inspiration, Interior Design, Spiritual, Wool Blankets

Everyday Glory

One late-autumn afternoon, after being stuck in bed for several days, I looked around at our bedroom and decided it needed colour.

Christmas was several weeks away, but  that didn’t mean I couldn’t haul out the two Christmas-themed cushions I’d received as a gift a few years before. Red does wonders for a room.

I could hardly wait for my husband to see this cheerful scene.

He went to bed before me that night. The next morning, I asked eagerly: “What did you think of the way I decorated our bedroom?”

“Decorated?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

He  stared at me, puzzled.

“Didn’t you notice anything different?”

“Oh!” he said. “You mean… all those pillows and stuff?”

I nodded.

“I didn’t really look at them,” he said.

Christmas Cushions
Christmas Cushions – Photo by H. Grange

There, in a corner of the floor were the red and white cushion and the two pillows in their lace-edged shams. They looked forlorn. I groaned.

“Oops – I screwed up, didn’t I?”

“It was so pretty,” I said in a whiny voice.

But when I met his eyes, he looked contrite, like a small boy in trouble.  Next thing I knew, we were both laughing.

Laughing over this foolishness was a little thing – an unremarkable thing. Unless you’ve learned to cherish the small moments of life.

Before the car accident, I was busy leading the big projects, travelling here and there.  Rushing around, trying to change the world, can make a person miss the beauty of “ordinary” things.

Injuries and pain are indescribably worse.   You finally have time to see, but barely have the energy to look.

But – oh – it’s worth the effort to look! To take joy in the small moments, to see one’s surroundings with new and grateful eyes.  To be open to small patches of everyday glory. 

"Snow Cones" on Spruce Branch - Photo by Hamlin Grange
“Snow Cones” on Spruce Branch – Photo by H. Grange

Snow on cedars. Fresh snow on the cedar and spruce trees  makes the garden beautiful, day and night.

The late sun. Late afternoon sunlight shining on wood floors is magical. And when the late sun hits the wavy glass sidelights in the front door of our old farmhouse, it’s wondrous.

Sunshine on Hardwood
Sunshine on Hardwood – Photo by H. Grange

My husband’s truant socks. I find them in the weirdest places, including the floor. I used to get irritated by this and other things, like his leaving the newspapers strewn across the breakfast table. (Or overlooking my small attempts to ‘cheer up’ our house.) Now when I come across stray socks, I give thanks for having someone kind, funny and loving to share my everyday life with . (And I try to assemble the newspapers without muttering.)

Canadian Wool Blanket
Canadian Wool Blanket – Photo by H. Grange

The old wool blanket. “Canadiana”, for sure, it would be worth something but for the pale stain on one side. Do I care about the stain? No.  I love this blanket for its brilliant stripes – and for having survived.

Blooming Amaryllis. Bought for 6 bucks,  it re-blooms (big red blooms) on long stalks in February. ‘Nuff said.

Freshly washed sheets.  There’s luxury in the smell and feel of freshly washed cotton sheets although they’ve been used and washed many times.

Our family’s big clay mixing bowl.  Many apple pies have been mixed up in that beautiful old bowl.

My daughter’s dogs.  Sometimes, just the sight of them gladdens my heart. One black, one white, they’re both tiny dogs with personalities of their own. As I write, they’re stretched out beside me,  fast asleep.

Julius and Dawson Fast Asleep
The Pooches

Slowing down  by choice is great. Being forced to do so is awful.  But in the spirit of lighting a candle and finding my way out of darkness, I’ve been focusing on positives.

I’m keeping both eyes open for that everyday kind of glory.

This post is dedicated to the caring staff at the pain management centre of Toronto Rehabilitation Hospital. One of the techniques they teach their patients is mindfulness.

A Good Home, Faith, Family, Family Matriarch, Family Stories, Gratitude, Inspiration, Thanks

The One and Only Aunt Rose

The phone rang. I grabbed the receiver.

“Dah-ling?” she said in that lovely  lilt that always reminds me of the women in that generation of our family. It’s as if they adopted an accent and made it their own.

“Hello, my dear Aunt Rose,” I replied.

“How are you?” she asked.

“I’m fine, Aunt Rose. Especially now that I’m talking to you. How are you?”

“I’m fine too, Dah-ling.”

aunt Rose with her son, great niece, and great-great niece
Aunt Rose with (l-r:) her son, great niece, and great-great niece

Her voice took on a slightly aggrieved tone. “But why don’t you call? I can’t hear from you at all.”

Before I could defend myself, she continued: “At my age, I shouldn’t have to be the one calling all you young people all the time. You should be calling me.” Aunt Rose lives with her daughter and son-in-law in the U.S., but her relatives are all over the place: England, Jamaica, the US, Canada, and so on. We were obviously not keeping up with the person, who – by dint of both personality and  seniority – has become  the family matriarch.

“That’s so true, Aunt Rose”, I said. “You’re absolutely right.”

“If I’m so right, why don’t you call more often?”

“Aunt Rose, I do call. I left a message on your phone just last week. Did you not get it?’

She was not backing down. “No,” she said firmly. “I didn’t get any message.”

I tried a different tack.

“So how are you, my darling Aunt?”

Her voice softened. She recited a short litany of ailments. Followed, as usual, by: “But I’m still here, giving God thanks.”

Gratitude. It’s one of the many things I like about her. To Aunt Rose, every day is a gift.

Aunt Rose, centre, with nieces

Aunt Rose, centre, with nieces

She asked about my siblings, uncles, cousins.  And my children.  And, of course, her favorite person who lives in this house.

“How’s my boyfriend?” she asked, suddenly giggling like a schoolgirl.

“He’s fine,” I replied. “Always sends his love for you.”

“Well, you tell him I send my love for him too!”

My great-aunt has a crush on my husband, and she never lets me forget it.

She called one day while my husband, the real chef in our family, was cooking dinner. Aunt Rose had insisted that I relay her love to him while she was right there on the phone.

“Your favorite girlfriend sends you her love,” I yelled across the kitchen.

“Tell her I wish she were here,” he called back, laughing affectionately, a twinkle in his eyes.

Aunt Rose giggled happily. “You tell my boyfriend that if I was just a little bit younger, I’d give you a run for your money!”

I pretended to be completely shocked.

“Oh yeah?” my husband replied when I relayed this remark. “Ask her what’s ‘a little bit younger’ ”.

Aunt Rose’s laugh was louder now. “Well, maybe just 20 years or so. Not much.”

This time, I was speechless.

Aunt Rose, you see, is 107 years of age, and that conversation took place about a year ago. She was still feminine, still funny, still eloquent.  Still vivacious. You should have seen her at her birthday party just a few years before. She danced all the younger women off the floor.

Aunt Rose dancing with her son
Aunt Rose dancing with her son at her birthday party

“I’m glad you’re twice my husband’s age and living in another country,” I always tease her. “I couldn’t stand the competition!”

I love Aunt Rose. Both my mother and grandmother have passed, and Aunt Rose has tried to fill a small part of the gap by telephoning me often from her home in the U.S.  Over these years, we’ve talked about many different things, almost all of them related to our family’s history.

She remembers minute details. From decades, even a hundred years before.

Sometimes the memories come complete with dialogue, or tiny details such as the style of a dress or shoes that someone wore.  Or the time her older sister (my grandmother) became famous as a small girl, for spotting a mistake in the textbook used to teach the subject in Britain and its colonies.

“Did I ever tell you about the time when…”

The moment I hear this, I grab pen and paper or whatever’s handy – journals, notebooks, the backs of envelopes, the sides of calendars, and, just once, a paper towel.

Stack of Journals

Aunt Rose nonchalantly admits that the past is easy to remember – it’s the present she has trouble with.

Some recent events, however, remain in her mind, even as her health has diminished and her voice weakened.

“I’m so proud of you,” she told me one day recently. “I just finished reading your book.”

Aunt Rose is mentioned twice in the book. Among other things, she helped perform the role of fact-checker for some of the family stories in it.  But I know that her daughter True and other relatives had to read it to her once published. Aunt Rose was now weak and bedridden.

A Good Home - A memoir by Cynthia Reyes
A Good Home – A memoir by Cynthia Reyes

But something else was on her mind that day, as her life edged closer to its end. She was focused on the future of a great-niece whom she’d helped enlighten, comfort, and encourage in countless telephone calls over the last several years.

“It’s a very good book, you know, Dah-ling. But I want you to promise me something.”

“Yes, Aunt Rose?”

“Promise me you’ll write another one. You have to write a second book.”

I hesitated. Her voice was weak again, but I could hear her waiting on the other end of the line. The trouble is that I’ve never lied to Aunt Rose and I didn’t plan to start now. What if I never write another book? I’d have broken what’s likely my last promise to Aunt Rose.

“I’ll try, Aunt Rose.”

Aunt Rose with Son and Grandson in background
Aunt Rose Birthday with relatives in background

“No! That’s not good enough, Dah-ling.” Her voice suddenly got stronger. “You have a God-given talent. Trying is not good enough.” There it was, that firmness in her voice that I know so well.

“Okay, Aunt Rose,” I said. “I’ll do my best.” This sounded like a promise without technically being a promise.

Aunt Rose wasn’t fooled. But she laughed gently and said, “I know you will.  My Dah-ling.”

Today Aunt Rose lies in bed, no longer eating, no longer speaking.  We’ve been told she’s in her final days.  We will miss her greatly ,  but we also know it’s time to say goodbye to this beloved woman.

Bon voyage, my Dah-ling Aunt Rose. Fare thee well.  Thank you for so much.   For your faith, grace and astonishingly clear memories that kept us connected to ‘home’.  And — above all — for your remarkable love and patience with us younger ones. You occupy a special place in our hearts.

A Good Home, Autumn, Fall colours, Gratitude, Nature, Ontario Autumn, Photographs, Spiritual, Trees in autumn

Autumn Colours in Ontario

Thanks to Hamlin Grange for his lovely photographs

*

Imagine my first autumn in Canada. I’d come here from Jamaica, where the trees and shrubs didn’t change colours — unless you counted the parade of blooms on shrubs like bougainvillea and trees like the poinciana.

Autumn in Ontario was a wonderland of changing colours and scents. The fresh smell of a cool fall day, the rain having come overnight and disappeared by morning, replaced by brilliant sunshine. The smell of wood logs burning in the fireplace.  The blazing colours of the trees. And the shrubs.  And the pumpkins.

Photo by Hamlin Grange
Photo by Hamlin Grange

Photo by Hamlin Grange

 Colours, glorious colours. 

I had seen pictures, but the first time I beheld the autumn colours with my own eyes, I was astonished. When I realized that the leaves would soon fall and the maple and oak trees would be stripped of their glory, leaving bare branches and trunks behind,  I wanted to find a way to stop time.

Photo by Hamlin Grange
Photo by Hamlin Grange
Photo by Hamlin Grange
Photo by Hamlin Grange
Photo by Hamlin Grange
Photo by Hamlin Grange

It’s many years later. You’d think I’d be used to the sight of Ontario’s autumn colours by now. But they still surprise me, still make my face break out in a foolish smile whenever I see what nature has wrought.  Even on those days of awful pain and reduced mobility, when I am stuck inside the house, looking through windows,  it seems to me that the air outside shimmers with a golden beauty.

I’m thankful for the sights and scents of the autumn.  And glad to share with you a few scenes of the fall colours in Ontario. Enjoy!

A Good Home, Book Reviews, Books, Faith, Gratitude, Spiritual, Thanks

Gratitude

There was a time – a quite recent time – when I simply didn’t think there was much to be thankful for. Then, in one of my darkest hours, I started counting my blessings and giving thanks for each one.  And then – a strange thing happened. The more I gave thanks, the more gifts I discovered. These gifts were always there, but I’d lost sight of them.

I now give thanks several times a day. To people whose cheerful or wise spirits uplift mine; to someone who reads my book or even opens a door for me; to family and friends; and to God.

Today I salute writers who have taken the time to read and review A Good Home. There are several, and I thank them all.

One is Anne Day, of the fast-growing Canadian organization Company of Women. Anne, by the way, lives on a farm in the Guelph area and also writes for a rural newspaper called The Puslinch Pioneer. Her review reflects both those perspectives: 

http://www.companyofwomen.ca/Good_Home.102.xbi

Another writer  is Anglican Bishop Linda Nicholls. Writing in the September issue of The Anglican Newspaper, Bishop Nicholls zeroes in on my struggle to believe – a very difficult thing to do after injuries left me housebound and in pain – and the people whose own faith helped keep me going.

I’m no expert on faith. But faith, I think, is tied in with hope. And gratitude. It’s not just that faith makes me more grateful and hopeful. It’s also this: when I’m exercising thankfulness and hope, my faith almost always feels stronger.

Thank you, Anne Day. Thank you, Bishop Linda Nicholls.

Thank you all. (You’ll need to click on the column below to read it.)

Book Bishops Review