A Good Home, Canadian Gardens, Canadian life, Flowers, Friendship, Garden Humour, Gardens, Spring Bulbs, Spring garden

Skulduggery

Every spring for years now, my dear friend Les and I have fiercely competed in The Bloomin’ Bulbs competition.

We two are the only participants.

Whoever has the first blooming spring bulbs is the winner.

But in the weeks ahead, we’ll both be on high alert, because we’ve proven ourselves …uhm… untrustworthy.

One year I brought a blow-dryer outside, trying to warm up the air around my not-quite-blooming daffodils.

And as for Les …. well….

Please follow the trail from here:

From: Cynthia Reyes
Sent: Sunday, April 13, 2014 4:58 PM
To: ‘Leslie Lawrence’
Subject: I have SEVERAL crocuses bloomin’! 

I have SEVERAL crocuses bloomin’ now!

Two yesterday, several today.

And I just remembered: it’s the Bloomin’ Bulbs competition, so Hellebores don’t count, Les!

Have you any real bulbs yet??

Blog Photo - Crocus in Spring

~~

From: Leslie
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2014 9:05 AM
To: Cynthia Reyes
Subject: Re: I have SEVERAL crocuses bloomin’ now!

Well, you are probably well ahead.

It’s hard to be in competition with the Reyes Estate.

A Few Things have poked their heads up vigorously through the leaf mulch.

However, we don’t have much of a display.

Lawrence el Veraz

Les and his Daffodils

 ~~

On Apr 14, 2014, at 9:19 AM, Cynthia Reyes  wrote:

Les – that is beautiful!

I have no daffodils blooming.

When I read your email, I braced myself for another fake photo – but this is great!

It looks like you won the contest this year, because those daffodils have been up for a while – right?

Darn, drats and heck!  I hate losing. But if I had to lose to someone….. I’m glad it’s you!

~~

From: Leslie
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2014 9:46 AM
To: Cynthia Reyes
Subject: Re: I have SEVERAL crocuses bloomin’ now!

Hi Cynthia,

Well, I’m glad you liked the photo.

As for fake photos, though we have this keen competition, I assure you I would never spend a lot of time scheming to send you a photograph taken last spring in order to accomplish the nearly impossible task of fooling you one last time.

Not me.

Lawrence el Veraz.

~~

On Apr 14, 2014, at 9:50 AM, Cynthia Reyes  wrote:

Oh my God! 

You did it again, didn’t you?

I don’t know why I get hoodwinked every time.

And this time – completely.

Duz a leppard change his spots?

Duz a photo-faker change his ways?

Obviously not.

Ay, caramba!

~~

All this to say: keep your friends close, but keep your gardener-friends even closer! 

~~

Dedicated to my dear friend Lawrence el Veraz.

A Good Home, Canada, Canadian Wine, Canadians, Flowers, Garden, Gardening, Gratitude, Home, Homes, Life in canada, Lifestyle, Poem, Spring, Spring Bulbs, Storms, The weather, Tulips, Wine, Words

A Fine Canadian Whine

That funny sound across the land

Is not the geese in flying band

That sound across this country mine

Is just a fine Canadian whine

*

Photo by Hamlin Grange
Photos by Hamlin Grange ©

We whine and whine about our weather

Spring and Summer, Fall and Winter,

We whine at snow, heat, fog and rain

We whine, we carp and we complain

*

“Winter is hell”, we cried and said

(Forgetting hell is hot and red)

“Come Spring, come soon, or we shall rot”

So Spring herself is what we got

*

Blog Photo - Arbor and pink clematis

Blog Photo - Pink Clematis

We’d dreamed of Spring’s so-pretty flowers

Forgetting Spring’s cold wind and showers

Spring came with those accompaniments

Arousing such crude sentiments

*

“Can you believe this awful cold?”

“Come on now Spring, break Winter’s hold!”

“Can you believe this awful wet?”

“Good God, this Spring is the worse yet!”

*

Blog Photo - Bloodroot

And on and on Canadians go

As if our lives were full of woe

Day in, day out we moan and groan

As if bad weather were ours alone

*

But grateful gardeners aren’t such grumps

We take the good and take the bumps

We welcome all the days of Spring

And give our thanks for what they bring

*

Blog Photo -  Blooming rhubarb

And so we wait the Winter out

And though at times we feel some doubt

We know that flowers need the rain

Without it, we would toil in vain

*

Without it, what would be the point

Without it, we’d be rolling joints

Oh, wait – out by our West-Coast way

Some people do that night and day

*

Blog Photo - Crocus in Spring

Okay, alright that was a slur

‘Gainst folks whose Springs are oft a blur

Of rain.  Offense, they do deserve it not

(Their “B.C. Bud”  is known as hot)

*

My West Coast friends, I will refrain

From mention of your weed and rain

I will not write about your pot

At least I will not write a lot

*

Blog Photo - Blue clematis2

Back to my garden I will go

Back to a subject that I know

And walk between the growing plants

And tend to what the garden wants

*

At evening, sounds rise o’er the land

(It’s not the geese in flying band)

That pleasant sigh is me and mine

Sipping a fine Canadian wine.

****

All Photos by Hamlin Grange ©

I’m dedicating this poem to my friends on Canada’s west coast, hoping their sense of humour is working well today.

And  especially to Louise, in Niagara-On-The-Lake, who has a lovely garden, and her husband Neil, who loved his work at a winery in Niagara-on-the-Lake.  Despite the uncertain weather of some growing seasons,  the story of Canadian wineries (in both the east and the west) is remarkable, with many award-winning wines. Way to go, Canadian wines!  

A Good Home, Garden, Nature, Poetry, Spring, Spring Bulbs

Our Lady Spring

My Lady Spring, I must confess

Your absence causes great distress

Why does it take so long for thee

To come back here and stay with me?

Mallard on Wing
Mallard on Wing

The sun shines brightly on the land

But winter makes its own last stand

At least I thought it was the last

Till winter whispered “not so fast!”

Blog Photo -  Blooming rhubarb

The tips of future tulip flowers

Came out expecting springtime showers

Then came a blast of wicked cold

And tulip shrank back in its fold.

Blog Photo - Alium Bloom

Our Lady Spring, we need you so

Oh Lady Spring, where did you go?

Come back, relieve our suffering

And I will make this offering

Spring Garden - Pink Bleeding Heart

No more complaints of rain and fog

No more complaints that we can’t jog

We’ll gladly tolerate the bugs

We’ll stand outside and give them hugs

Spring Garden - Hyacinths

Oh gosh, I just read what I wrote

I take it back, that buggy quote

I hate mosquitoes, really do

And grubs and wasps and deer-flies too

Blog Photo - Daffodil white

But if you come, my Lady Spring

Along with blooms and birds on wing

I’ll try my best to gracious be

About the things that do bug me

Birdhouse by Jean Long
Birdhouse by Jean Long

And I shall greet you in the rain

And sing for you a spring refrain

And take the bad along with good

And walk along the cherry wood

Mature Shrubs in Bloom

Oh, Lady Spring, come back to me

So I can stroll my garden free

Of winter coat and freezing cold

While your great beauty I behold.

Photographs by Hamlin Grange

This poem is dedicated to my friends Mae, Jane and Muriel.