The biggest, fattest snowflakes (snow dollops?) of the season arrived yesterday, like cold water in the face of Spring.
I’m no poet, but these verses are meant to make you smile:
Category: Garden Humour
Autumn Here, Spring There
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It’s Springtime now Down Under
While we here are right in the Fall
Hard to believe it’s the same Earth
It barely makes sense at all.
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I wonder how folks in the old days
Reacted to this bit of news
That Christmas could be in the summer
Did they think it was some kind of ruse?
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Oh – look what I wrote up above there!
A captive of my point of view
Though for folks in the lands Down Under
This cannot be anything new.
~~
So let’s start this poem all over
Let’s turn it upside on its head
And now, it is Fall Over Yonder
But here it’s the time to plant beds.
I Deserve a Prize, I Do
I was once the proud recipient of the Pumpkin Princess Prize – awarded by Scotland’s pre-eminent herb-blogger, The Hopeful Herbalist.
Was Miss Hopeful smoking her own herbs when she did so?
Don’t know, don’t care. I took the title seriously.
Actually, what my lovely blogger friend said was: “Award yourself the pumpkin princess crown!”
Which to my deliriously happy state of mind, meant much the same thing.
And now I wonder: if my tiny imperfect pumpkin could win me that regal honour, perhaps the next thing is my cooking? Or baking? Or floral arranging?
Let’s face it: It takes tremendous effort to be really bad at something.
A lot of trial and error is required. Mostly error, mind you.
Take my cooking and baking (please — someone has to).
I famously made a two-ingredient dish – cauliflower and cheese – and forgot the cheese.
The harder I tried, the worse my cooking got. I forgot half the ingredients, or doubled them — or burned the dish. Husband added ketchup, salt or spices to everything I cooked. Yegads! Ketchup!
I’d perfected the art of truly bad cooking.
But do you hear anyone giving me the title for worst borscht?
Perfectly pathetic pie?
Instead, they flock to stories of delicious dishes and beautiful bouquets. I’ve never understood it.
Meanwhile, we lesser folk never give up trying.
And still, our creations are catastrophic.
But consider this:
It takes a lot of work — and maybe even a strange type of talent — to turn out truly awful stuff.
So I think it’s time our efforts were acknowledged. Don’t you?
(Tee hee….)
Skulduggery
Every spring for years now, my dear friend Les and I have fiercely competed in The Bloomin’ Bulbs competition.
We two are the only participants.
Whoever has the first blooming spring bulbs is the winner.
But in the weeks ahead, we’ll both be on high alert, because we’ve proven ourselves …uhm… untrustworthy.
One year I brought a blow-dryer outside, trying to warm up the air around my not-quite-blooming daffodils.
And as for Les …. well….
Please follow the trail from here:
From: Cynthia Reyes
Sent: Sunday, April 13, 2014 4:58 PM
To: ‘Leslie Lawrence’
Subject: I have SEVERAL crocuses bloomin’!
I have SEVERAL crocuses bloomin’ now!
Two yesterday, several today.
And I just remembered: it’s the Bloomin’ Bulbs competition, so Hellebores don’t count, Les!
Have you any real bulbs yet??
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From: Leslie
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2014 9:05 AM
To: Cynthia Reyes
Subject: Re: I have SEVERAL crocuses bloomin’ now!
Well, you are probably well ahead.
It’s hard to be in competition with the Reyes Estate.
A Few Things have poked their heads up vigorously through the leaf mulch.
However, we don’t have much of a display.
Lawrence el Veraz
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On Apr 14, 2014, at 9:19 AM, Cynthia Reyes wrote:
Les – that is beautiful!
I have no daffodils blooming.
When I read your email, I braced myself for another fake photo – but this is great!
It looks like you won the contest this year, because those daffodils have been up for a while – right?
Darn, drats and heck! I hate losing. But if I had to lose to someone….. I’m glad it’s you!
~~
From: Leslie
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2014 9:46 AM
To: Cynthia Reyes
Subject: Re: I have SEVERAL crocuses bloomin’ now!
Hi Cynthia,
Well, I’m glad you liked the photo.
As for fake photos, though we have this keen competition, I assure you I would never spend a lot of time scheming to send you a photograph taken last spring in order to accomplish the nearly impossible task of fooling you one last time.
Not me.
Lawrence el Veraz.
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On Apr 14, 2014, at 9:50 AM, Cynthia Reyes wrote:
Oh my God!
You did it again, didn’t you?
I don’t know why I get hoodwinked every time.
And this time – completely.
Duz a leppard change his spots?
Duz a photo-faker change his ways?
Obviously not.
Ay, caramba!
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All this to say: keep your friends close, but keep your gardener-friends even closer!
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Dedicated to my dear friend Lawrence el Veraz.
