A Good Home, Angels, Birds, Books, Chronic pain, Dogs, Garden, Inspiration, Life Challenges, Pets, Photographs, Spiritual, Spring

The Angel

My staircase looked as tall as Mount Everest.  But there was no alternative: I’d have to climb the mountain.

My back and leg were on fire with pain.   As I’d done so many times before, I stood at the bottom of the stairs, summoning the courage.   Then I started climbing —  on hands, feet and knees — and told myself that I was a brave mountaineer.  Sometimes, you just have to lie to yourself and hope yourself believes it.

At the top landing, I sat down. The truth was that I felt exhausted, sorry for myself and not at all brave.   But it was worth the trip upstairs to my office.   An email came from my husband, who’d left for work early that morning.

“Forgot to tell you”,  he wrote.  “I heard a Cardinal singing this morning.  I looked out the kitchen door and saw a female… the male must have been nearby.”

Via vitalxrecognition.wordpress.com/
Via vitalxrecognition.wordpress.com/

I smiled.  I could almost hear the bird singing. Could almost believe that spring had really arrived and winter was really over.

It was mid- afternoon and my daughter’s little dog, Mr. D., woke up and headed downstairs.  It was time for his walk around the garden.

Photo by Hamlin Grange
Photo by Hamlin Grange

Together we went  out the door and into the garden, snowflakes swirling around us.

He scampered along and I followed slowly, leaning on my cane.   His fur is white, making him invisible against the snow without his sweater on.  And he’s so small that the low boxwood plants that border the centre garden bed can hide him completely.

At one point I couldn’t see Mr. D. at all, though he was standing just a few feet away, wearing his sweater.  Then I saw a blur of black and white speeding around the boxwood circle.  I smiled.  He slowed down till I caught up.

Photo by Hamlin Grange
Photo by Hamlin Grange

When we returned to the front doorway, I saw a small box, with my name on it.

I tore open the cardboard. There was a book inside.

It was Elizabeth Gilbert’s The Signature of All Things.  I’d been wanting to read it.

There was a short note accompanying the book:

“For Cynthia, who notices things ‘close up’ and understands in both visceral and transcendent ways the ‘Signature of All Things’ and can write so beautifully even when she hurts.”

Blog Photo - E Gilbert book

It was from Jacqui, who works at the London Public Library.  How did she know? I wondered.  How did she know that on a day like today, this gift would cheer me up no end?

I smiled. The angel at work again.

Sometimes the angel is a sound: the song of a cardinal on a winter day; the harmony played by the wind chimes on our verandah; the hilariously huge snore that comes from a tiny dog’s body as he snoozes on the floor beside me.

Sometimes she’s a scruffy-looking stranger.  The young man who rushed to open a heavy door for me, his kind smile illuminating his entire face.

Sometimes she’s a friend.  Jacqui, sending me that book.   My husband, telling me that spring is here: the birds are singing.  My sister, showing a keen understanding.

The phone rang.  My sister had asked me – I forget when, exactly – to find out something for her.  I did.  But now she was on the phone, asking for the answer, and I couldn’t remember what it was that I’d found out.  Too much pain, too little sleep, for days and nights on end.  I felt ashamed to tell her that I couldn’t remember.  I tried to speak; instead of words, a disjointed stutter was all I could manage.   For just a moment, I felt as if I might burst into tears.

My sister recognized the warning signs and reacted quickly.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Just stop everything and rest now.”

Image Via achurchforstarvingartists.wordpress.com/
Via achurchforstarvingartists.wordpress.com/

I imagine that if the angel ever showed up as herself, she’d look like my mother:  soft brown skin, short, silver-grey hair, the picture of serenity.  In the meantime, she takes different forms and sounds, and helps me out when I least expect it.

“How do you manage to project such positive thoughts on your blog when you’re feeling so miserable?” a friend asked me one day.  She’d paid me a surprise visit, and found me struggling to get around.

“When I write on my blog, I try to uplift my readers,” I replied.   “Not sure what it does for them, but it sure makes me feel better!” At that, we’d both shared an understanding laugh and sipped our tea.

Of course, I should also have said:  “Did I ever tell you about the angel?”

Dedicated to Merle, Jane, Joanne — and all the other angels in my life.

 

A Good Home, Authors, Book lovers, England, Gratitude, Inspiration, Kindness, Teaching English, Words

You Just Never Know

Somewhere in Birmingham, England, a teacher has been using my book A Good Home to teach English to her students.

Why?  I wondered as I read her email.

You see, I never knew what readers would make of my book.  For one thing, so much of it was written piece by piece, over many years – a series of private memoirs, an ongoing “journal” never meant to be published.  My writing was descriptive, yes, but also simple.

Blog Photo - Red Peony

I wrote about what I was seeing, hearing, thinking and feeling at the time. About my family, neighbours, friends. A special home.  A beloved pet.  A garden.  A flower.  A chance encounter.  And even a tragedy or two.

Not for others to read, but for myself. Because I wanted to remember those moments.

“It’s an excellent example of descriptive, emotive writing”, the English teacher wrote.

My reply must have been a disappointment. It’s easily the least descriptive thing I’ve ever written.

“I’m at a loss for words,” I wrote, still stunned.  But good manners kicked in.  I gave her a heartfelt thank-you.

A Good Home - A memoir by Cynthia Reyes
A Good Home – A memoir by Cynthia Reyes

Now that I’ve gotten over my surprise, I can tell you this:  she made my day.  In fact, she made my whole week.

Someone’s using my book to teach English,” I silently repeated.

*

From her home in Toronto,  a woman sent me an email.  She said she’d nurtured the dream of returning to the thing she loved most – writing – but years had passed and she still couldn’t find the right space or time to do it.

I urged her to stop for a few minutes. To record a thought, an image,  a scene — anything … and never mind about making it sound fancy.

“Write,” I’d told her. “Just write.”

Later, I followed up with another email:  “Have you written today?”

This week, I got an email from her. She’s back at her craft… and using the story of our exchanges to inspire others. These “others” are people I will likely never meet. But with luck, at least one of them will similarly encourage and inspire someone else.

*

With a  few words in their email notes, the English teacher and the Toronto writer both gave me a gift — at a time when I needed to be  uplifted.

The original email exchanges with the Toronto writer,  for example,  happened at a time when my body was so inflamed with pain that I felt useless and miserable – unable to help myself or anyone else.  Dragging myself to the computer was unbelievably difficult. It never occurred to me that the few words I wrote would help to change someone’s life.

Nor, I suspect, did the teacher or the writer know what a positive impact their own words would have on me. But then again,  I didn’t know that the ongoing “journal” of moments in my life would become a book  that others would value.

But this much I know:

Words have power. We don’t know, when we write them, how they will affect others.  But they do.

This post is dedicated to Paddy Chung and his wife Jacqui, two of my favorite people, whose words and deeds are uplifting. Not surprisingly, I wrote about them in my book. (You may even remember them from “The Harvest”.)

A Good Home, Book lovers, Garden, Homes, Inspiration, Nature, Photographs

A Reader Writes

“As I sat down each time with your book I was curious as to where you might be taking me in the next chapter or two.  There were so many surprises and turns.  Life is full of them, I know, but yours are so well written of, they seem to be real and much more.  Almost a window of opportunity: a window for your reader to look out of, to see his or her world in a different and better light.” Reader review by John Garside.

Umpteen readers have emailed me with their responses to A Good Home. Some send photos as well. Philip Young created an image that celebrates A Good Home:

Book - Philip Young's photo

Thanks, Philip. And your wife Marje, for reading and loving the book. And for this interesting image!

John Garside,  a gardener, avid reader and editor from Prince Edward County, Ontario, took A Good Home with him on his canoe trip in a remote part of Ontario. Seems the book made good reading when he stopped for lunch, eating his bagels, etc.

Book - with bagel and gloves in Johns canoe

When John returned home, he sent me photos and his review of A Good Home:

“I find time with a book a very rewarding experience.  The book I read just before opening the cover on yours was ‘Half Broke Horses’ by Jeanette Walls published in 2009.  I then read yours, and then the next in line was ‘John Cameron’s Odyssey’, transcribed by Andrew Farrell and published in 1928.

I now have finished his book and find myself looking back on all three books and saying to myself, “What a wonderful reading time I have experienced!”

Now I would like to talk about your book.  There were several things that I really liked about it.

The first one was the topic.  “Homes” are made from “houses” and not everyone can do this and not everyone is aware of the transformation of a house into a home.  The “Home” topic really interested me as I have lived in several places and it is interesting how attached you can get to a home.  For me it can be the actual house or more recently something outside the actual house, the garden!  So the topic was just the thing to read as I was leaving my former home for a new place.

The chapter length was excellent.  Short and to the point which is something that Jeanette Walls also did in her book “Half Broke Horses”.  With a busy life you sometimes only have thirty minutes to read so a nice short concise chapter is just the ticket!

I enjoyed each chapter as it started and ended within my grasp of time.  Long chapter books are nice but I find I sometimes have to backup and re-read from the start of the chapter to get into the swing of the book again.  I did not have to do that with yours.  Each chapter was a nice fit and I could see the “Home” being built one chapter at a time.

Your book is very much like a piece of stained glass.  Each piece speaks to you and is wonderful as it stands.  Then when all the pieces are put together the picture is much more clear and I could see your path from Home to Home to Home and beyond.

Your snippets of early life were very interesting and it is most unfortunate that more people do not or cannot remember some of the finer points of their youth.  I can remember things that happened to me when I was three, and feelings and a sense of the world when I was two and a half.  You too have this gift and sharing some moments of your Jamaican childhood was very eye-opening for me, someone who was born and raised in Toronto!

I also found it interesting how you decided that Jamaica may be “home” but not your future.  It takes a very mind-centred person to do this as most of us are more than happy to stay where we are.

Book - Johns lake and trees

You mentioned that coming to Toronto and going to Ryerson was quite an experience.  As I read these pages I really felt for you as I recall when I went off to university in Hamilton (McMaster). I was surprised to see so many foreign students.  Now being a curious sort of person I was always interested in their story.  I made many fascinating friends and look back on my university days as eye-opening not only for what I took in my courses but also what I learned from my many foreign friends.

Your journey in faith is also well described as it is something that not everyone is comfortable in writing about.  The church in Brooklin must have been quite a change for you from Jamaica!

I also enjoyed your look into homes as a place where you live.  Your homes have been that, a place where you and your family live their lives and take care of each other.  The seed is planted early in the book and continues to grow through to the end pages.

By the end of the book, each home is special in its own right but all are equal in their own gift to you and your family.  I feel the same way about the various homes that I have had; they have all given to me and my friends a life-giving joy.”

Storms, Surviving a Blackout

At Home During the Storm

The thunderstorms rolled in.

The lights went out.

The rain fell loudly on the roof.

Lightning flashed.

It was only about 5 p.m., but it looked like 9 o’clock.

“Where are the flashlights?” we asked each other.

“And where are the lamps?”

There it was: that moment, at the start of a blackout, when you feel just a hint of panic, but decide to steady yourself. After all, we know where the flashlights and lamps are. We just have to find them. We hope the gas-fuelled lighter is where we last saw it. And that the batteries in the flashlights are still good.

“What did people ever do before electricity?” my husband mused aloud as he hurried into one room and I another, searching for the stuff we’d put away for such emergencies.

I found two oil lamps. The first lit without a problem. The second didn’t. The wick was too short.

I hadn’t lit this lamp in years. I finally tried sticking my fingers down into the lamp to pull the wick out – them realized that the whole thing can be taken apart and the wick pushed up. So I did, and lit the wick. A tall flame shot up, sending a plume of smoke into the ceiling. The wick was now up too high.

No problem, I thought. I’d been raised in the countryside, in a time and place where the lights often went out at night. I swiftly opened a kitchen drawer, grabbed a tablespoon and used it to try to push the wick down.

It didn’t work. The spoon only got hot, my hand nearly singed.   Yikes!

And then I remembered: Blow it out! I huffed and puffed and blew the flame out, reviving a memory of my mother or older sisters doing this many times when the lights had come back on in my childhood home and it was time to put out the lamps and candles.

Meanwhile, my husband was rummaging through cupboard doors, looking for the ‘big lamp’ he’d saved for just this purpose.

“I know I put it in this cupboard!” he declared, and, in the lamplight, I could almost see the bemused expression on his face.

Whenever he does this, I usually help him to search, because sometimes a thing is staring you in the face but it takes someone else to see it. But it wasn’t there. We rummaged loudly through some more cupboards, found two flashlights in their usual places, but no Big Lamp.

By now I’m sitting in the living room, two lamps lit. He comes through the doorway, carrying a strange-looking object. The size of a small TV set, this portable multi-media machine was a marvel ten years ago when he bought it on a trip to California.Image

It’s got everything from a TV, radio, CD player, to a siren, flashing lights and even an electronic mosquito repellent. It’s part of the survival kit our family put together when a blackout hit the Eastern seaboard area just a few years after an ice storm did some damage in our part of the countryside near Toronto.

We responded to these two scary acts of nature by assembling our own Armageddon box. We stocked The Box with everything from water supplies to candles and crackers and canned meat and various sizes of band-aid and surgical supplies. And, of course, batteries — of various sizes.

But it’s been years since we had one of those scary Mother-Nature-having-a-bad-day experience, and we’ve gotten soft. The batteries in this multi-media contraption have also gone soft. It takes nine C-size batteries and we can only find eight. My husband inserts the eight new batteries and reinserts one of the old ones.

We huddle around the coffee table in the living room, trying to coax the thing to life.

The TV screen does not light up. The radio sputters to life, sort of, giving off a strange crackle and spit. The CD player doesn’t play. Even the flashing lights don’t work. Only the siren does. But we are definitely not at that stage yet.

“Maybe the mosquito repellent works,” I tell my husband. “How would we know though?”

“Well, you don’t see any mosquitoes in here do you?” he teases. “So it must be working!”

We sit there and gaze into the darkness. The rain and thunder are still at work, just outside our windows. I walk over to a window to look outside, but the lightning flashes again and I draw back, wondering if anyone has ever been struck by lightning through a window pane.

“What did people ever do before electricity and all these gadgets?” my husband wonders again out loud as I return to my seat on the sofa.

“They used lamps and candles for light,” I answer. “They talked to each other. And they went to bed early.”

“Probably why they had so many kids,” he replies. “If this blackout goes on into the night, there’ll be a spike in the conception rate. It never fails!”

We laugh in the semi-darkness. Without the hum of appliances and other electrically powered machines around us, our laughter sounds louder, somehow, but also more intimate.

“When radio became widely available, people stayed up listening to it,” I said. “Maybe that’s when people started having fewer babies.”

We suddenly remember a tiny, wood-clad transistor radio that my husband’s hosts had presented him after he gave a keynote speech in the Netherlands, and he runs upstairs to get it. In no time, we are listening to one of several available radio stations. It’s loud and clear.Image

“We remain under a serious thunderstorm warning this evening,” says the weather reporter on one station.

“Incredible, Claire. Thank you,” replies Robert, the radio announcer.

We learn about a commuter train full of passengers “heading home in the rush hour”. Water, the reporter says, has flooded the train “up to the seats”. We worry about the passengers, when we hear that “one passenger jumped out of the train and swam away”.

Elsewhere, the radio tells us, people are stuck in elevators.  Gary, an expert, says “For anyone who knows someone who is stuck in an elevator, please keep in touch with them and reassure them.”

One assumes that this reassurance should be given by cell phone.

Claire comes back on the radio to warn that there are “three more storms coming our way, bringing a lot more rain.” We worry about the people trapped in the train, on the flooded roads, in the elevators.

I pick up the hand-held phone but it, too, relies on electricity and there’s no dial tone. I head to the kitchen in the darkness and pick up the receiver of what is now becoming an ‘old-time’ instrument, and call my daughter for the second time this evening. She lives in an apartment in mid-town.

“Are you okay?” I ask anxiously. “How are you coping?”

“Our lights never went out”, she says. “The TV is on and I’m watching the news. But one street over, all the lights are out.”

“Glad you’re safe,” I say, relieved. “But keep a flashlight and candles handy. And stay away from the elevator, just in case.” I can’t resist that motherly piece of advice before I hang up the phone.

Another expert on the radio says people shouldn’t use cell phones unnecessarily in this emergency.

“Push comes to shove, we can always charge our cell phones in the car, you know,” my husband reassures me.

Outside, there’s a lull in the rain. My husband picks up the useless multi-media contraption and leaves the room. Minutes later, he’s back, hauling it with him. “It works,” he says triumphantly. “It runs off the cigarette lighter in the car.”

But I’m glued to the little wooden radio from the Netherlands.  There are more interviews with people trapped by the flood, and experts telling us all to stay calm and “be patient”.

Another hour passes. Near the radio is a mystery novel I’d been reading. I flip it open, wondering if I can read in this light.

“No wonder so many people had to get glasses,” I say, as I put the book aside. “If you wanted to read at the end of the day, or knit a scarf or something, this was all the light you had.”

We call the rest of our relatives to make sure they’re okay. Some have electricity and some don’t. But all are coping.

So are we. After all, we’re indoors. We’re not on the road, or in a train, or stuck in an elevator.  And, despite this brief reminder of times past, we’re here in the 21st century.

After about three hours, we blow out the lamps, turn off the little radio and go to bed.