My kind of idiot, that’s who.
Proving the old saying by another idiot: “I’d forget my head if it weren’t connected.”
Last night, my daughter asked me for the umpteenth time: “But how can a person lose her crutches, Mom? It’s not possible.”
Trust me, it is.
I rarely drive these days, but on Monday, I drove myself to the hospital. On my way home, I noticed the car was dirty inside. While waiting at the car wash, I took a few steps to the coffee shop right next door, and came back barely managing to hold on to my crutches, handbag and coffee cup.
Somewhere in the complex task of entering the car, securing the coffee, placing my handbag on the passenger seat, it seems I forgot one of my crutches leaning up against the rear car door.
And drove away. And didn’t realize it till I got home.
I called the car wash place. The person who answered the phone thought he couldn’t possibly be hearing the right thing.
He passed the phone to someone else, who treated the matter with suspiciously great seriousness, but said “No, ma’am. No-one has turned in a crutch. You said a crutch, right?”
“So are you saying someone stole your crutch, Mom?” asked Daughter. “Who would steal a single crutch?”
She Googled “people who lose their crutches” and declared — shaking her head — that there were no other cases.
Daughter: “Mom, you realize that the only entry I found is from an episode of South Park, right? Which is fictional. A TV comedy.”
Me: “You realize I lost 3 of my canes the same way, in earlier years, right? And had to nearly crawl from car to house each time?”
She gulped. We almost choked with laughter.
Lord give me strength. Or a brain, at least.