My kind of idiot, that’s who.
Proving the old saying by another idiot: “I’d forget my head if it weren’t connected.”
Last night, my daughter asked me for the umpteenth time: “But how can a person lose her crutches, Mom? It’s not possible.”
Trust me, it is.
I rarely drive these days, but on Monday, I drove myself to the hospital. On my way home, I noticed the car was dirty inside. While waiting at the car wash, I took a few steps to the coffee shop right next door, and came back barely managing to hold on to my crutches, handbag and coffee cup.
Somewhere in the complex task of entering the car, securing the coffee, placing my handbag on the passenger seat, it seems I forgot one of my crutches leaning up against the rear car door.
And drove away. And didn’t realize it till I got home.
I called the car wash place. The person who answered the phone thought he couldn’t possibly be hearing the right thing.
He passed the phone to someone else, who treated the matter with suspiciously great seriousness, but said “No, ma’am. No-one has turned in a crutch. You said a crutch, right?”
“So are you saying someone stole your crutch, Mom?” asked Daughter. “Who would steal a single crutch?”
She Googled “people who lose their crutches” and declared — shaking her head — that there were no other cases.
Daughter: “Mom, you realize that the only entry I found is from an episode of South Park, right? Which is fictional. A TV comedy.”
Me: “You realize I lost 3 of my canes the same way, in earlier years, right? And had to nearly crawl from car to house each time?”
She gulped. We almost choked with laughter.
Lord give me strength. Or a brain, at least.
63 thoughts on “What Kind of Idiot Loses Her Crutches?”
Well, I have always said you were “special.” This proves it. 🙂
Yikes. It’s true.
Forget cookies or brownies as gifts- send crutches, or just one.
You made me laugh, Chip! So right!
Put baggage labels, or better still, etch your mobile phone number on them, Cynthia (NEVER your address or home phone) 😎
What a darn good idea. Seriously. You’d think I’d know that by now, but I never thought of it. Thank you, Chris!
Welcome, Cynthia (better add – If found please contact me on ——) 😎
Sometimes I think I have lost my phone and I am talking on it😳
You made me grin!
We’re human; and “special”. *@ happens. I recall, rather sheepish about leaving a tube behind after a surgery a few years ago; anything IS possible 😉
Thank you, Ann. And for sharing your own mishap!
Empathy, empathy. I lost a wheelchair this way. Actually, to be fair, it was my other half! By the time we returned, the innocent wheelchair had been swiped.
Yikes. There are other accessibility devices here that I’d be happy to lose, but crutches or the wheelchair can be essential!
It certainly put me in a quandary!
Thank you for the laugh today…I needed that!! Never a dull moment in our lives even when we think they are dull.
You’re so right. Daughter and I even went back to the car wash today and the owner said, “No, it never turned up.” But first he had a good laugh.
Nah, you’re not an idiot! You’ve just got way too much on your mind to remember everything. Ergo, sometimes things get left or lost! Just ask my hubby! 😆
Hey Linda: Thanks for that excuse!
Anytime, dear lady, anytime! LOL! 😉
It’s only human to lose things. I have lost the car keys more than once, and yes it is embarrassing. But hopefully, like the car keys, it will turn up. Putting a label and phone contact is a great idea as suggested above.
Thanks for the consolation!
We all have our moments, Cynthia. I once got in the wrong car at the parking deck at work. I couldn’t understand why the seat was so far back. When I moved it forward, I spotted a pack of cigarettes and freaked out. I jumped out so fast, I didn’t move the seat back to its original position. 🙂
You made me laugh out loud, Jill!
I’ve never lost a crutch but I’ve lost plenty of other things!
Thanks for that, pal. Misery loves company.
See, this is what happens when you start cleaning. It’s not you, it’s the chore!
My goodness, what a clever response! Next time, I’ll use that excuse!
I suppose it’s not funny, but this whole post made me laugh. Not AT you, understand … but it is funny. If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry, right? Maybe you could get extra long mitten clips – crutch to purse. 😀
No– please — you must laugh at me. My daughter can’t even broach the topic without laughing. She turns her face away but I can see the twitching.
Thank you Cynthia.I thoroughly enjoy your humor and willingness to admit your foibles. Like many of your friends and fans, I had a few good laughs. How about attaching a GPS chip, or homing pigeon, or buy them in bulk? XD
So glad you had some laughs, Brad. So have I!
Wonderful. Laughter is good medicine!
I have lost all kinds of things over the years, and done strange things. Drove off once with a pizza on the roof of the car, among many others. You are not an idiot, my friend! I can laugh along with you, but not at you! 🙂
Thanks for sharing the flying pizza, Lavinia! And I have been laughing at myself once I got over the shock!
Canes and crutches are quite easy to lose. I’ve done it myself a few times. Most often at Target. I’ll hang the cane while I’m looking at something and moved away from it until I try to walk any distance. I left one in the shopping cart and realized it when I got home. I called the store and they actually sent someone out to look for it. When I called back, they were holding it for me. i don’t go out and shop that much but they get my vote for caring.
I hear you, sister. I had a similar experience with my cane. I left my cane in the shopping cart one day and stumbled to the car, not realizing. When we got home, we phoned, and some nice person had returned it.
Gives you a little faith in the world. 🙂
To be totally honest, I don’t find it hard to believe at all. Within my family, we’ve driven from one place to another and lost: wallets, purses, books, stamped letters, mittens, Chinese take-out, and more. Well, I will admit, none are as, well, obtrusive as a crutch. It’s okay, as long as you don’t leave your sense of humor behind, you’re good. 🙂
Well said, that last line. Thanks for the reassurance that your family loses things too!
I lose jackets the way you lose crutches and canes. So irritating. But I have to admit your post made me grin, especially when I read the conversation with your daughter. Onward, ho!
Mission accomplished: I made you grin. I’m perversely glad that you also lose stuff, Laurie. Makes me feel I’m in good company!
I am sorry you still need crutches – although not that you retain your sense of humour
Thanks, Derrick. Laughter has been a survival tactic in recent years!
I’ve misplaced so many things that my husband says that the marker on my grave should say “here lies Karen, who spent half her life looking for things she misplaced. 😀 I hope you are healing properly and quickly.
I love this! I think my husband would like to steal it!
It is oh so true Cynthia…oh so true.
While I am trying to read posts in the midst of recovering from Harvey, I knew from the title of this post that it must be from you! Makes logical sense to me! My 82 year old sister came to stay with us as she lives alone and has no power. She is on a walker and I am learning new skills as I take her shopping for a few items as she only packed for overnight. You make me smile at your courage when we all need courage. Cheers, my dear Cynthia.
Ahhh… that’s so kind of you. Your sister is blessed to have your help.
Rather your crutch than your handbag! But a spectacular achievement all the same. 😀
Spectacular is a good word — I agree!
You are gorgeous! I’m forever losing things ..
Well, thanks for that. You always seem to have your act together, though Julie.
Because I am fine inside most houses and apartments I have left a cane behind at someone’s place from time to time. It happens when, for whatever reason, I don’t need it as I leave, and I don’t realize I’ve left it until I get to the other end of the car journey – usually at a time when I don’t want to go all the way back. So I’ve made do with poles and elbows until I can retrieve it.
I only lost one when, in the excitement of putting a grandchild in a stroller and keeping an eye on another one as we set off for the playground at Woodbine Beach I forgot that I had rested my cane on a nearby stone (strollers are even better than canes). By the time I remembered we were at the playground, and though Richard hurried back it was gone… I sometimes wonder what adventures that cane has been on since.
I’m glad I’ve not had the occasion to use or lose a crutch, though! Thanks for this and other smiles.
Great reply, Margaret and thanks for sharing your own moments. It’s exactly that– resting the crutch/cane against something to carefully do another action and — yikes.
The problem isn’t not having a brain, but having too much going on in that brain 🙂
I hope that one day some clever person will invent a walking aid that doesn’t have to be held in the hand. Enough has to be carried on shopping trips and visits to friends without being encumbered with a crutch or stick as well. My mother left her stick in a shopping trolley at the supermarket. Fortunately, it was found by someone before we drove off without it.
I would say that this is an expression that these devises are not a perminent extension of your personality, thus easily forgotten when out of sight.
On a parallel story, once, I purchased a shovel and some other items at the local hardware store. I leaned it on the passenger side of the car while loading up the hatch-back with other items. I turned to the driver’s side, got in & drove away… wondering what the clunk was as I left the parking space. At tome (60 miles away), I realized my error. Days later, I returned to the store. They had my shovel placed behind the register, with a copy of the receipt taped to it with my name on it (wonders of electronics that they could look back at receipts to figure out who last purchased a shovel then drove off). Wonders of local hardware store. -Oscar
Great story, Oscar. How fortunate that they kept it for you!
OK, hopefully this will cheer you.
One: A lovely old lady who went to our church when I was a kid, Miss Elms, was hit by a car and lost one of her legs just below the knee. I remember discussing sticks and crutches with her during one of my limpy spells. She said she’d lost loads of her walking sticks.
‘How?’ I asked.
‘I put them on the car roof, get in, and then forget about them and drive off.’
‘That must be really annoying.’
‘It is. I lost one of my favourites last week, a really comfortable one, but I do it all the time.’
Later I got to have a pair of crutches of my own. They’re very useful when I put my knee out, know what I’ve done and can’t be arsed to go to A&E. I got them from lost property when I worked in a coach depot. Someone had left them on the coach. After six months, when they weren’t claimed, I got to keep them.
Trust me, you’re not alone, whatever Google may say! 😉
I so want to Lol, but I feel bad you lost them. Now you can be the first on Google to lose your crutches. 🙂