A Good Home, An Honest House, Humour - Kinda, Short Short Story

Help Save My Dignity

Every time I go to the fracture clinic at the hospital – which is often these days — I feel ashamed.

Blog Photo - Cynthia cast being put on

Why?

Everybody, except for me, has a great story about how they broke their whatsit.

Broken arms, collarbones, legs — you name the body part, and a great story comes with it.

There’s Eden, a teenager, who is aiming for the Olympics. She joined the boys’ ice hockey team in the spring to sharpen her skills.

“I’m 5’4″, they’re 6 feet plus”, she says.

During a skirmish, one player lands on her arm and — snap! “The bones were sticking out,” she says.

Next to her at the clinic, a young adult male tries to disguise his pride as he explains he broke his collarbone while  skateboarding. 

Then there’s the 20-something young woman who has now broken the same leg twice — first from playing basketball competitively, now from football.

“So what happened to you?” These brave warriors invariably turn to me.

Ugh! How do I say: “I got up, passed out and fell down”?

I need to save face. Can you please help? 

I need a great story about how I got these breaks in my ankle.

Must be very short and semi-believable and mainly decent.

Funny, if possible.

The sooner the better, please. 

Readers will tell me which story they like best. I’ll then sign a copy of either A Good Home or An Honest House and mail it to the winner.

Thank you for helping!

 

A Good Home, Canadian life, Home, Humour - Kinda

Witless Wednesday

I’m being driven witless.

Witless, I tell you.

By the multitude of articles telling me I need to live more simply by getting rid of stuff. Warning me that I’ll expire of unhappiness because my closets and cupboards are cluttered.

Honestly, at least twice a day in the last week, I’ve read these admonitions and how-to’s. Oprah’s online magazine, O. Better Homes and Gardens. The daily newspapers. Blog posts. 

Why is it driving me witless, otherwise known as bonkers and even bouleversee?

Maybe it’s because I know there is at least a grain of truth in most of these articles. In the last year, I’ve given things away and still suspect that I could do with less. (I hold on to old towels because they can be reused to dust, clean floors, etc., etc. My daughter says that’s crazy.)

But mostly it’s because all of these advice articles demand too much of me. To throw things out, it seems, one must first be very well organized.

Bah humbug, say I. Organized schmorganized!

There have been a few really neat posts that I like.

My friend Mandy posts photos on Facebook of the small bundles of similar things that she gathers up and gives away.

Liz turned her sorting and giving into a game.

And Sally Cronin shared something I can ‘clip out’ and post on my kitchen bulletin board: Tips for avoiding food waste. Specific and doable. (Yay Sally!) 

Otherwise, I ‘m resting in the arms of the first two lines of this wise quote. And you’re only allowed to read the last 2 lines if you understand it in the metaphorical way:

Besides the noble art of getting things done,
there is a nobler art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the
elimination of nonessentials. ~ Lin Yutang ~

Witlessly Yours,

Cynthia.