Tag: Writing

A Good Home, Blessings, Memoir-Writing, Writers, Writing, Writing workshops

MIXED BLESSINGS

Cynthia Reyes

It’s November, the month when many writers write.

Not me.

I’m not working on the next book, not writing my blog, not even journal-ing every day.

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In typical Cynthia fashion, I had a good stretch of days some weeks ago and was so thankful for it, I tried to do too much.

Ignored the warning signs. Committed other rampant acts of mindless-ness.

The bad pain came, then the flu. And throughout it all, the bloody nightmares whenever I slept long enough.

But pushing myself, as my therapist and journals remind me, is how I’ve come this far.

And I’m pushing again.

~~

Twice a week now, I lead very small groups of individuals who are writing their memoirs.

None is a professional or even an experienced writer. But they are bright, interesting, mature people.

Some of their stories are painful to write, I know. But what a joy for me to help them develop as writers.

They’re changing in front of my eyes — and theirs. Blooming.  

~~

At first, I wondered how they’d see me.

It’s obvious I have difficulty walking – sometimes it’s very bad. But I decided to reveal — on the very first day — some of the stuff others don’t immediately see. That I sometimes stutter or speak strangely. That I might struggle to cross-reference or absorb new information and that if voices/sounds come at me from more than one source, it affects me.

Just as well I did.

I’ve come up against my limits repeatedly – and so markedly, twice, that I later went to the washroom and cried.

Then there’s the tiny paycheque.  I earned more money in my early 20’s!

So why am I smiling?

This activity has given me a purpose outside the home. I spend 2 hours, twice a week, with a group of individuals whom I like, respect and marvel at. I can see their progress each week and it delights me. The stories they tell — even the painful ones –are a balm to my soul. 

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Blessed am I to have such students.

And blessed am I to have readers who notice when my blogging patterns are ‘off’, and ask why.

Thank you.

 

A Good Home, Words, Writers, Writing

“Just Write,” she said

Cynthia Reyes

A women’s group once asked me to read excerpts from my personal stories. They asked why and how I wrote them. And they asked for advice about writing their own memoirs.

Paraphrased below, is what I said.

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Write.

Write about memorable experiences, even the tiny ones.

Write about yourself;  things you did or saw happen; the people you met. Write about what they said, and how that affected you; what you learned from them.

But above all, just get into the habit of jotting things down. In a journal, a notebook. On your cell phone. Pieces of paper. The phone bill.

Write. Jot it down.

A word you love. A quote from someone else. The way the light shone through your window and lit up the polished wood floors. The way that made you feel.

Blog Photo - Salle a manger

~~

Over time, you may have enough material for one story, or dozens. You don’t try to get them published. Too personal, you think. And – – what if no-one even likes them?

Then, by a twist of fate, you have an accident and find yourself unable to move from your bed on many days.  When you talk, you stutter. And when you walk, you may even fall.

You will not be able to write a story for years.

But you will have those old stories to remind you of the kinds of people you met, experiences you had, insights you learned – in short, the life you lived.  You may discover that you’d been blessed with a very good life. And that you had been given a wonderful gift in the form of those stories.

Then, along comes a  prestigious magazine that wants to publish your stories, and a publisher who wants to launch your first book. Turns out that in those dozens of stories, written over 25 years, you had, unknowingly, recorded the elements of your memoir.

agoodhome_cynthiareyes

Then thousands of people read your book, A Good Home, and take comfort — even joy — from it.

And that, taken singly or together, is both a surprise and a huge serving of grace.

Just write.

Top photo by J. Van Burek.

A Good Home, Authors, Book lovers, England, Gratitude, Inspiration, Kindness, Teaching English, Words

You Just Never Know

Cynthia Reyes

Somewhere in Birmingham, England, a teacher has been using my book A Good Home to teach English to her students.

Why?  I wondered as I read her email.

You see, I never knew what readers would make of my book.  For one thing, so much of it was written piece by piece, over many years – a series of private memoirs, an ongoing “journal” never meant to be published.  My writing was descriptive, yes, but also simple.

Blog Photo - Red Peony

I wrote about what I was seeing, hearing, thinking and feeling at the time. About my family, neighbours, friends. A special home.  A beloved pet.  A garden.  A flower.  A chance encounter.  And even a tragedy or two.

Not for others to read, but for myself. Because I wanted to remember those moments.

“It’s an excellent example of descriptive, emotive writing”, the English teacher wrote.

My reply must have been a disappointment. It’s easily the least descriptive thing I’ve ever written.

“I’m at a loss for words,” I wrote, still stunned.  But good manners kicked in.  I gave her a heartfelt thank-you.

A Good Home - A memoir by Cynthia Reyes
A Good Home – A memoir by Cynthia Reyes

Now that I’ve gotten over my surprise, I can tell you this:  she made my day.  In fact, she made my whole week.

“Someone’s using my book to teach English,” I silently repeated.

*

From her home in Toronto,  a woman sent me an email.  She said she’d nurtured the dream of returning to the thing she loved most – writing – but years had passed and she still couldn’t find the right space or time to do it.

I urged her to stop for a few minutes. To record a thought, an image,  a scene — anything … and never mind about making it sound fancy.

“Write,” I’d told her. “Just write.”

Later, I followed up with another email:  “Have you written today?”

This week, I got an email from her. She’s back at her craft… and using the story of our exchanges to inspire others. These “others” are people I will likely never meet. But with luck, at least one of them will similarly encourage and inspire someone else.

*

With a  few words in their email notes, the English teacher and the Toronto writer both gave me a gift — at a time when I needed to be  uplifted.

The original email exchanges with the Toronto writer,  for example,  happened at a time when my body was so inflamed with pain that I felt useless and miserable – unable to help myself or anyone else.  Dragging myself to the computer was unbelievably difficult. It never occurred to me that the few words I wrote would help to change someone’s life.

Nor, I suspect, did the teacher or the writer know what a positive impact their own words would have on me. But then again,  I didn’t know that the ongoing “journal” of moments in my life would become a book  that others would value.

But this much I know:

Words have power. We don’t know, when we write them, how they will affect others.  But they do.

This post is dedicated to Paddy Chung and his wife Jacqui, two of my favorite people, whose words and deeds are uplifting. Not surprisingly, I wrote about them in my book. (You may even remember them from “The Harvest”.)