Did I tell you about….
… that time I went on a diet, and got a nasty surprise?
It happened around this time last year – Ash Wednesday, the start of the 40-day period of Lent, a time of sacrifice and reflection.
I reflected, decided, and said to myself: “Self, let us agree that, this Lent, we will give up any food that is not healthful.”
Self wholeheartedly agreed.
Self is always up for a good-sounding plan. And this one sounded positively virtuous.
Over the next several weeks, my grocery list consisted primarily of healthful stuff like the following:
- Oats, Bananas, Pears and Berries
- Pecans and Walnuts
- Coconut everything and Quinoa everything
- Cabbage, Zucchini, Green Beans, Spinach
- Fish – especially Salmon or Trout
- Beets, Avocado and Sweet Potato.
I felt great. In fact, I felt quite saintly about it, since almost every item was a ‘super-food’.
Then came an ominous sign.
Things started shrinking.
The waist of my jeans shrank. Then my skirt. Then my other jeans too.
I was flabbergasted.
Just to be sure, I weighed myself.
I’d gained 6 pounds.
“I don’t understand!” I wailed to my daughter. “I’ve been on a health-food diet!”
“Mom”, she said, in that deliberately patient voice one uses to a 5 year old who stamps her feet and refuses to understand. “It’s not enough to eat super-foods. It’s also a matter of portion control.”
“Portion control?” I sputtered.
Portion control… I wrinkled my nose and screwed up my face and stared at her, willing her to retract those words. No luck.
“Are you saying I didn’t ….”
“I’m saying you ate too much avocado, Mom. And sweet potato. And quinoa. And other stuff too.”
Photo Credit: John Garside